I adored this game, maybe just because I saw myself in both Mizuki (I even share her name lol!!) and Reina.
The writing could be a little more in depth, but the way Reina feels guilt for not helping Reina is very accurate and made me cry, I would've loved to see Shiko more and see more of her grief process (I understand it is a short game though, so what we have is enough.)
Makes me... happy, to think a little broken lesbian like me can be happy with someone too.
PD: How do I get the last achievement?? The completionist in me is suffering.
Text speed seem to be buggy ; wether the speed is set at “max” or “min” in the settings doesn’t change a thing ?
(EDIT : I’ll go and put my review, as I finished the VN since then. I feel like the realisation is fine, the sprites and background great… But I couldn’t “get” into the story, it felt off somehow, like if the people talking had no personality of their own ; I think the writing has a problem but I wouldn’t know how to correct it :(
To answer your edit I think the problem is I didn't give much time for the characters to really be given much of a personality. I never intended the VN to be long from the start, just wanted to make a short love story from the point of view of someone who's disabled and another who isn't.
Me adding everything else I think detracted from that and made it become something else completely or jumbled up to the point it became a mess. The only thing I could think of that might've made things a little better is if I had voice actors for the characters to express their emotions due to my writing not being the best.
Thank you though for playing the game and giving a review :) I hope to create better VNs in the future with all the feedback I've been given.
I think I’m into theses kind of setup at least, I love playing heroine, gay, and “unusual/not used much” viewpoint ; the disabled are one of them, and I really appreciate you did. The only VN I know featuring a girl in a wheelchair is “Flowers” (Erika - and it’s pretty good, I love her ! - but they didn’t play much on using facts on disabled, like the most related true life experience we get is her being helped at washing herself, and I don’t even think it’s how it’s done - the wheelchair is mostly a prop sadly).
But to me - the writing is paramount ; design, music, and everything is only a way to make the writing stand out more in the end.
But yeah, I’ll totally give it further try if you write stuff with heroines in the futures. I think no one should judge the quality of a writer on one go ; ebi-hime -for one- did write a tone of VN, half of them I hated, a third of them I cried over - almost felt like I was mislead at the end “who wrote this great… THE BAD AUTHOR I RESENT DID AAAAAAH I DON’T UNDERSTAND” :p
I loved writing the story book part. It was very fun and a breath of fresh air, in a sense, to write something a bit lighter in tone xD Perhaps one day I might explore that world more but for now I'm happy with the little piece I was able to show.
Also yes Mizuki was the one talking there D: Thank you for letting me know about the name mistakes, it'll be fixed in 1.1.0. :)
Hi i have feedback for you !!! i have found 2 errors so far where 2 other people failed to load i have screen capped the errors so hopeful it can be fix with a bug fix or a second version !!!
yep it showed up in red that's why i grabbed 3 screen cap, but what i have read so far it seems a interest story so far the missing CGI ain't the end of the world, a quest for you do you have a closed beta tester and can check out bugs like this before in goes out like to the public ???
I don't but I already knew about the sprites since I just wanted a small portion of the game to be released in time for the SuNoFes game jam. I figured renpy would pull up the default silhouette if it couldn't find the sprite.
i finished it and what I've seen so far i like, no i mean the missing 3 images i take it that they should show up to the left of the screen to so she it talking to them like it shows up when talking to her helper !!! and i you need help on the next build to get it perfect i am will to help and even proof reading, being English born and raised i been lucky enough to help new writers to get there V.N.'s perfect for the English readers even got my name in a thank you list in one of them.
Thank you for the offer! :) For now I'm more focused on getting everything in the game but if I ever do need a tester in the future I'll contact you and ask if you're free to help.
← Return to game
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
I adored this game, maybe just because I saw myself in both Mizuki (I even share her name lol!!) and Reina.
The writing could be a little more in depth, but the way Reina feels guilt for not helping Reina is very accurate and made me cry, I would've loved to see Shiko more and see more of her grief process (I understand it is a short game though, so what we have is enough.)
Makes me... happy, to think a little broken lesbian like me can be happy with someone too.
PD: How do I get the last achievement?? The completionist in me is suffering.
Thank you for your kind words :) I definitely got a lot to improve on with my writing and hope to get better in future projects.
As for the achievement I will say I've seen others not get the convenience store one, so if that's one you're missing maybe try there :)
Text speed seem to be buggy ; wether the speed is set at “max” or “min” in the settings doesn’t change a thing ?
(EDIT : I’ll go and put my review, as I finished the VN since then. I feel like the realisation is fine, the sprites and background great… But I couldn’t “get” into the story, it felt off somehow, like if the people talking had no personality of their own ; I think the writing has a problem but I wouldn’t know how to correct it :(
It's due to me using CPS in Ren'Py, so it uses a fixed speed. Sorry for any trouble this caused.
To answer your edit I think the problem is I didn't give much time for the characters to really be given much of a personality. I never intended the VN to be long from the start, just wanted to make a short love story from the point of view of someone who's disabled and another who isn't.
Me adding everything else I think detracted from that and made it become something else completely or jumbled up to the point it became a mess. The only thing I could think of that might've made things a little better is if I had voice actors for the characters to express their emotions due to my writing not being the best.
Thank you though for playing the game and giving a review :) I hope to create better VNs in the future with all the feedback I've been given.
I think I’m into theses kind of setup at least, I love playing heroine, gay, and “unusual/not used much” viewpoint ; the disabled are one of them, and I really appreciate you did. The only VN I know featuring a girl in a wheelchair is “Flowers” (Erika - and it’s pretty good, I love her ! - but they didn’t play much on using facts on disabled, like the most related true life experience we get is her being helped at washing herself, and I don’t even think it’s how it’s done - the wheelchair is mostly a prop sadly).
But to me - the writing is paramount ; design, music, and everything is only a way to make the writing stand out more in the end.
But yeah, I’ll totally give it further try if you write stuff with heroines in the futures. I think no one should judge the quality of a writer on one go ; ebi-hime -for one- did write a tone of VN, half of them I hated, a third of them I cried over - almost felt like I was mislead at the end “who wrote this great… THE BAD AUTHOR I RESENT DID AAAAAAH I DON’T UNDERSTAND” :p
Hi Shadow :)
I played the newest update and the story is amazing even in the sad moments,
It was also interesting that part with story in the book!. it was really fun and could be a visual novel it its own?
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh and I spotted a mistake in the following screenshot, I believe it was Mizuki speaking not Reina?
Thank so much! I'm glad you liked it n.n
I loved writing the story book part. It was very fun and a breath of fresh air, in a sense, to write something a bit lighter in tone xD Perhaps one day I might explore that world more but for now I'm happy with the little piece I was able to show.
Also yes Mizuki was the one talking there D: Thank you for letting me know about the name mistakes, it'll be fixed in 1.1.0. :)
this was a great start i cant wait for the next update!
Thank you! ^-^ That means a lot and I can't wait for you all to be able to read the full version! :3
Hi i have feedback for you !!! i have found 2 errors so far where 2 other people failed to load i have screen capped the errors so hopeful it can be fix with a bug fix or a second version !!!
Your Mr GaTeZ.
Thank you for the feedback! :) This is currently fixed in the final build so it should be good once the full version releases n.n
I do have a question though, was the texts still able to come through even though an image wasn't loaded?
i found another bug as well * mother Smile *
yep it showed up in red that's why i grabbed 3 screen cap, but what i have read so far it seems a interest story so far the missing CGI ain't the end of the world, a quest for you do you have a closed beta tester and can check out bugs like this before in goes out like to the public ???
Oh I meant the speech bubble xD and thank you!
I don't but I already knew about the sprites since I just wanted a small portion of the game to be released in time for the SuNoFes game jam. I figured renpy would pull up the default silhouette if it couldn't find the sprite.
i finished it and what I've seen so far i like, no i mean the missing 3 images i take it that they should show up to the left of the screen to so she it talking to them like it shows up when talking to her helper !!! and i you need help on the next build to get it perfect i am will to help and even proof reading, being English born and raised i been lucky enough to help new writers to get there V.N.'s perfect for the English readers even got my name in a thank you list in one of them.
Thank you for the offer! :) For now I'm more focused on getting everything in the game but if I ever do need a tester in the future I'll contact you and ask if you're free to help.
This was super cute! I can't wait to read more of it!
Thank you! n.n
Hello :)
Very good start of your visual novel :)
I rarely see a visual novel involving someone with disability, interesting choice.
Looking forward the full version ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for the comment :) <3
This is my first time using Ren'py so it's been a challenge doing this but I can't wait for you and others to play the full game soon! n.n
Yes it is a challenge at the beginning, after it gets better as you get to know how it works :)